Mom, that truck has ....

Ok, this is not the most proper blog of all time, but it's too funny to pass up. Plus, I have not updated in a few days. So, before all my fun Halloween pics, here's an amusing story, courtesy of my little Ty-Ty. (Mom, stop here, ok? You won't think this is funny...)

Last night, my innocent kids and I were driving West up the big hill on Riverdale Road. I noticed out of the corner of my eye a truck coming up along my right side. Starboard for you pilots or engineers out there. I'm a freakin' awesome driver huh? I notice everything. Except the speed limit in Page, AZ. That's another story...

ANYWAY...as this truck is coming up along the side of me, sweet little spiky-hair Tyler exclaims:

"Mom! That truck has balls!"

"EXCUSE ME?!?!" I shrieked.

"No, really. It has balls! Big ones!" Ty insists.

As I was preparing for the lecture you know will follow, Ricky starts snickering, and the twins started giggling. Tori adds, "Whoa! I see 'em too! They're green."

So, the truck finished passing me, and I see them too. Big green "balls" swinging from the trailer hitch! Ok, people. How LAME can you get? Testicles? For your truck? Are we not secure enough in our truck's manhood? Do we need to advertise that? Does adding those nasty saggy things add horsepower? I bet it attracts the classiest ladies!

As I lay in bed that night, I started to laugh. As I recounted this story at school, my associate informed me that yes, indeed, the "truck balls" business is alive and thriving! You can get them in any color, pattern, finish and SIZE. Yep, you read it. SiZe. Oh, man. And they have the nerve to bitch about how many shoes we have?

Man: "Honey, my new truck is red, and my old balls are green chrome plated. I need a new set of balls to match my truck! Oh, and don't forget my 24 pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon and can of Coppenhagen chew babe!"

So, I leave you tonight with this most disturbing image. The one burned into my brain by the moron in the maroon Ford. I bet his name was Bubba. Maybe Billy Bob...and I bet he's got a tattoo that says, "Stud."