This is the "Holiday" season.

WHY, oh WHY do we stress ourselves out to show people how much we "love them?"

Is that iPod Nano really going to show my beautiful son Ricky how much I love him?

My beautiful, complicated son. I love that kid more than anything.

Tonight, I was in the kitchen when he asked me to help him on the computer. I dropped the bench to my kitchen table on my foot, and it took everything I had not to cuss or cry! BUT: I didn't!

Next thing I know, Ricky is standing there. He put his arms around my waist, hugged me tight and asked if I was ok.

Open the flood gates...

Now, had this been last night, he probably would have laughed. Last night, the sweet, sassy twin terrors were bathing their favorite fur-babies. Then, the handle on the Cold water broke, and the water was on almost full blast. OOPS!

The landlord was awesome. He came out and made it so I can use it until he gets it fixed perfect. Anyway, the boys were on their best behavior...until he was out of the driveway.

Then, the chasing ensued and Tyler ended up running into the doorframe. We were all laughing, but he was really crying!

DANG!

Well, today his foot is black and blue all over the top, all over the last 2 toes AND down the side. His 2 end toes are broken for sure... LOL!

Poor, beautiful Ricky. He felt so bad. Now, this is neat because Ricky has not felt remorse for ANYthing over the last 3 years. So, somewhere, somehow, something clicked.

I am the happiest Mom ever. Not that I wanted Tyler to run into the doorframe or me drop a bench on my foot to find out my oldest had a heart...

But, point of all this is:

I didn't have to buy Ricky an iPod Nano for him to be a good person. I love him and he knows it. He loves us and I know it!

My Grinch-ette heart is swelling....

I am STILL a Grinch

I am STILL a Grinch. But, I'm a Grinch with a heart who feels like an ass. I stumbled upon this blog page tonight, and I know it's for a reason:

http://kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com/

I spent a long time on this baby girl's page, and her battles took me back to the days when Baby Ricky was in NICU. Of course, Ricky's battles were nothing compared to this baby's.

So, since you all know that I'm a bratty brat now, I want everyone to do something for me. PLEASE pray for this little girl. Reading this family's blog just makes me tear up and I want this baby to get better.

God, Heavenly Father, Abba, Buddah, Alla:

Whoever or Whatever you want to call Him, please just spend 5 seconds to ask Him to bless this baby girl, Kayleigh, and her family.

I am the Grinch-ette

I love Christmas. I have just had a bit too much alone time.

Jimmy is supportive, don't get me wrong. But, Jimmy has his own house and his own 2 kids to take care of. I am tired of all my responsibilities. To be relieved of them every other weekend, like a normal divorced parent, would be wonderful. To have support from family with no hesitation or strings attached, would be wonderful.

I am tired of wrapping alone, stuffing stockings alone, making kids go to bed alone, doing school projects alone. Worse, I am tired of not having something to look forward to in the near future, such as every other weekend alone. Or once a month alone. Even though I am engaged, I still feel I need to spend some alone time with my fiancee. This is why marriages go wrong: the couple loses touch with each other. Dang, mine has not even started yet!

Today, I am the Grinch-ette. I am NOT happy.