Monday, January 5, 2009

Twas the Week After Christmas

Well, it's not actually the week after Christmas, but I got this in an email and just HAD to share:

Twas The Week After Christmas

Twas the week after Christmas and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste.
All the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."

So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruitcake, every cracker and chip

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore --
But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

Diet is not the word. I am not going on a diet. Diets are unhealthy and for people who only want to lose weight. I want to lose weight, but I want to do it RIGHT and I want to make changes that will stick. I want to make lifestyle changes.

Now that you all know, I cannot fail. I cannot let you down. Don't let me slack ok? Don't offer me your delicious buttery stick-right-to-my-thighs ANYTHING.

Not even a lick....LOL!


Janice (5 Minutes for Mom) said...

RIGHT with you girl!


Maria M ( Conversations with Moms said...

Made me laugh all the way through it. I can relate, except my weight is due to a pregnancy added with the holiday food.

Eli's Lids said...

Too funny! I hear I just weaned Cora though so I feel a bit slimmer... but I think that is just a mental thing!

My Little Family: said...

Glad your third grader can use the 9 times trick. Where was it when I was his age????? Ha Ha


This is the coolest dog ever!